Recently we heard about the demise of Whitney Houston. She died of drug use. She was 48.
A little while ago it was Amy Winehouse. She was 27 and a serial drug user and alcoholic.
Just a couple of years ago, it was Michael Jackson. He was 50 and he died of the drugs his own negligent doctor prescribed him.
Yet children today still think drugs are cool. Even after seeing how they've tortured and killed some of the worlds most genius talents, they think drugs are cool.
What is the matter with us that we still haven't managed to teach them otherwise? That we still haven't managed to teach them there is enjoyment in life without drugs and alcohol?
I'm not going to sit here and blame it on the celebrities. This problem is much bigger than them and I think that parents have a little more influence on their children then some poster or concert.
Could this problem be because we ourselves are so hopelessly dependent on drugs that our children look at us and see nothing but hypocrisy? We take drugs because our back hurts, we're overweight, we've got a cold, we're tired. It seems like there's a pill for everything and we line up to take them at the drug store like everyone else.
Could it be that we're teaching our children that drugs are the answer to our problems?
Could it be that children think: "Well, my parents take drugs all the time. Just because this drug is illegal, how is it any different?"
Recently, Alastair Campbell did a panorama documentary about alcohol use in the UK. He stated the recent statistics that every week one hundred people die of liver disease, a condition directly related to alcohol use.
This can't be because Amy Winehouse and celebrities like her drank. I won't swallow that. This is because all of the ADULTS in this country drink and they teach they're children that alcohol means having a good time. Just as their parents taught them and their parents taught them.
Result: 100 people dead every week from liver disease. So many more from drunk driving. So many more from drunken brawls. So many more from domestic violence. Some many children born defective because their mothers drank during pregnancy. So many children beaten by their drunken parents. So many lives ruined.
This isn't celebrity culture. It's OUR culture. It's OUR behaviour.
I'm not going to sit here and say that no one should drink or that no one should take medication. It's not my place to say that and we live in a society that is free. In fact, I think that making more laws about drugs or alcohol will only make the problem worse. After all, the laws we have now don't work so why would new ones? It would only put more power in the hands of the drug lords.
But I will say that people who watch the news over Whitney Houston and tut tut and say "Isn't it awful?" and "These celebrities are never going to change" are not seeing the full story. Celebrities are people just like you and me. They grew up in this culture just like you or me.
This is a problem that is caused by us and only we can do anything about it.
We tell our children that we will always love them. Whitney Houston sang a song about always loving someone, remember that? But how is it loving them to propogate a culture that can only harm them? And if we're so free in our free society then why can't we go one week without a beer? Why can't we get through one headache without breaking out the paracetamol? Why can't we prove to our children that they can enjoy life without being under the influence of some drug?
We're not free. And as long as drugs are the answer to our problems, we're not solving the problem.
*My blogger buddy Linda has been weighing in on this very subject on the New York Times. Go here to check out her blog post regarding it.
Monday, February 27, 2012
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49 comments:
Here here! Parents set the example and society reinforces the beliefs.
It's great to see you blogging again and writing about the things that matter to you.
It's so sad, isn't it? The loss of such celebrities only serves as a reminder of the depth of the problem. Parents (or the main adults in a child's life) are the first and greatest influence over the choices that a child makes, not just through the choices we make ourselves, but also in the environments that we subject our children to (this isn't always a matter of choice, though). While I think it's a little too simple to blame it all on parents, I think you're on target when you say it's not just celebrity culture, but our culture. The difficulty is knowing exactly how to fix it as a whole. But I suppose it begins with the individual and the individual's choice. We can't always control what others do, but we can say no and teach our children to say no and hope that they will follow our example.
I would imagine with the celebs that peer pressure has a lot to do with their random behaviour. I know from experience that you can set all the examples you want with your kids but eventually they form their own opinions and go their own way. I like to lay at least part of the blame on a government that gives lip service to the dangers of drugs, nicotine and alcohol but continues to allow it to be sold because of the revenue.
One other thing is the reliability on prescription drugs. It is nice to have you blogging again Jai. We did miss you.
Yep. Time to stop staring at the tabloids in the grocery check-out line and start looking in the mirror.
of course, it IS out culture. It also has roots deep in capitalism and our inability to go the tough route when needing to fix ourselves. Pills are so much easier.
BTW, ALL 3 of the celebs you mention had medications that were rpescribed for them implicated in their deaths. Prescription drug abuse is a huge problem, bigger than heroin+cocaine+methamphetamine combined. Only marijuana and alcohol use are greater (and alcohol especially goes hand-in-hand with Rx drug use/abuse).
I waxed on a potential strategy to reduce Rx abuse in the New York Time's Room for debate (would love to paste the url but dang, google doesn't let me anymore -- what's going on?). Check out the 2/16 post on my blog http://linda-leftbrainwrite.blogspot.com to get the link.
But please read all the talking heads--some good food for thought. Thanks for a much-needed post, Jai. Peace...
Diane, exactly!
Jai
Happy Whisk, thanks! It does feel good to be back. And blogging is a way to keep writing regularly which was badly needed!
Jai
Carolina, I agree that it's definitely something that begins with our individual choices and I also agree that's it's not a simply as blaming it on the parents. But parents could do a lot of the legwork in educating their children about how enjoyment and pleasure is not about intoxicating ourselves ad infinitum.
Jai
Oceangirl, presciption drugs are a big problem. I totally agree.
And thanks. It's good to be back on the blogosphere.
Jai
Linda, I'm with you 100%!
And yes, the prescription drugs all three celebs I mentioned were taking no doubt were part of the reason they died.
I remember that post you mentioned and I'm going to edit this post to include the link.
Jai
Delores,
hey and thanks for the comment. I actually agree with you that children will make their own decisions no matter what parents teach them. However, it is also a fact that the children of people who drink and smoke are much more likely to drink and smoke. Is that a fluke? Or is that a culturally ingrained habit the children learned early from their parents that was further enforced by the norms of their society?
Here's another example: I'm from an Indian family. In my background, very few adults drink. It's frowned on as a reckless and unsavoury pastime. As a result many of the youngsters don't drink too. Some of them do (because they're rebelling or being what they think is "modern") but most don't drink. Is this a fluke? No, it's something that was culturally ingrained from an early age and enforced by the norms of their society. Even those who do drink are doing so because, culturally, they think that drinking is something that people in the west do and therefore it must be something that is cool. Seriouly, I've heard them speak of it that way. That's why they do it, because they want to be part of a "cool" culture.
And yes, I do agree that peer pressure makes a difference but I don't see how celebrities face peer pressure any more than normal people do. Teenagers who go to clubs are just as likely to be exposed to a culture of drug-taking as a celebrity. The only difference is that celebrities have more money to spend on it without having to resort to crime to feed their habit.
Jai
Why aren't you writing regularly?
If they see it every day of course they will think it's acceptable.
Happy Whisk,
At first it was because I was working so much in my day job (14hrs a day) that I just had no time or energy to write. Then it was because I had to quit my job and do other things for family that ate up all my time. But all that time away made it harder to get back into writing because my routine was completely disrupted. So I'm working my way back, slowly but surely.
Jai
Alex, exactly.
Jai
Very true. Great post. The problem is not the drugs and alcohol but our dependence on them. Don't reach for the aspirin at the first throbs of a headache. Don't overdose on decongestants with the first sniffles of a cold. Enjoy a glass of wine on a night out, but don't go overboard.
If only we could go back to the old days where colds are treated with hot lemon tea, headaches are soothed with a warm wet towel, and a great time can be had by all over cups of tea rather than mugs of beer.
I couldn't agree more. Celebs area reflection of our society; they're just more visible. They're not isolated.
Oops - that should be 'are a'!
I totally agree with your post. There was an interview with her family and friends after her death and I remember them saying that she was always around drugs, as such, it would be difficult to avoid it.
Glad you are working your way back to it. Do you journal? I do, I like it. And I love buying new colored pens. So fun.
Celebs make such things look cool, so its but natural that kids will emulate them.
Glad to see you blogging regularly.
Did you see what George Clooney said? They interviewer said, George, I heard you've given up drinking for the New Year.
He laughed, said, Yes I did. You have to do that sometimes, to make sure you still can.
And Russel Brand regularly touts that he does not drink.
So they're not all dumb shayts.
- Eric
J.C. that's exactly my point. We need to stop being so dependent on drugs to cope with things.
Jai
Talli, exactly!
Jai
Clarissa, I imagine it was difficult for her to avoid it. By that point it must have been practically expected of her.
Just like for most other people, it's expected of them to have a beer when they go to a bar, or a glass of wine when they're at a dinner party. Because it's what people consider normal according to their culture. That's the real problem.
Jai
Happy Whisk, it's funny but I've never been able to write a journal. I think that writing about my own life is boring. When I write about things on my blog I purposefully try to make it amusing because I know someone else is going to write it, but when I attempt to write in a journat it never turns out the same.
Jai
Rachna, the thing is that I'm saying this is not the fault of the celebrities. It's actually the fault of everyone because using drugs to solve everyday little problems has become so normal, so children see this and think it's ok.
For example, celebrities use drugs all the time and children see this. They also see celebrities drinking and smoking and doing all sorts of things. Yet despite this, in Gujarat where my family lives the drug problem is very low. Why? Those kids see the celebs like everyone else. So why don't they use drugs? It's because the adults in their culture don't use drugs or they use them very little. If they're sick they use natural remedies. If they're stressed out then they get a massage or they do exercise. They don't resort to drugs or alcohol. So the children it is as normal to not have to use drugs.
But in the west it's normal for adults to use drugs or alcohol as a way of coping. As a result, the children think that it's acceptable and they do it to.
The problem isn't celebrities, it's our own culture.
Jai
Eric, agreed. I love George Clooney. He's a great guy who's clearly very intelligent and interesting. Russell Brand is cool too.
Point is, celebrities are people just like you and me. There are going to be those who use drugs to cope with life and enhance their pleasures (most of them) and there are going to be those who don't (a select but significant few).
I'm in the George Clooney and Russell Brand camp myself. I don't drink and have no desire too.
Jai
You are absolutely right that this is a cross-culture (and inter-culture) problem.
Drug abuse be it legal or illicit needs to be treated as a social/medical problem. That would go a long way towards removing any glamour usage holds.
I hear you, Jai, and I couldn't agree more with you.
As you know, my wife and I have two little ones (well, one of them is fourteen) and I'm bracing myself for when they start going out on the town on a Saturday night with their friends. All I can advise as a parent is talk to your children and... listen to them. A lot of kids do drugs because they don't feel they're being listened to.
That was some mighty post you wrote there. Ta muchly.
Greetings from London.
I agree with your point--it is definitely culture and not only celebrities that affect the way people view drugs and alcohol (and smoking as well).
Yes, Jai, so true. The life of a celebrity must be so difficult at times and hard to cope with. You could see how Whitny hated the paparazzi and I'm sure that is a common stress.
Certainly I can't see our culture changing that much, sadly...but freedom is never found in drugs or alcohol...
Denise
Excellent point, Jai. We are all very dependent on our pills!
I love that you guys say "paracetamol" not acetamenophin.
Anyway, I agree. We are too much of a culture that has the "fix it now" mentality.
Yep, I agree. It's an ever worsening cycle.
Al, I agree. The whole idea of drugs being glamourous is something I've always found bewildering. To me, it seems cowardly and stupid, not glamourous.
Jai
Cuban, good luck with your children when the time comes. It's a nerve-wracking time.
And as for being ta muchly... Well, I thought someone had to say something.
Jai
Golden Eagle, exactly. Smoking's a big part of it too.
Jai
Denise, I know it's hard to imagine our culture changing, especially with regards to alcohol. It's so ingrained in western culture. But I do have hope. People used to think that no one would ever give up smoking but with education and knowledge, slowly but surely, people are coming to their senses.
I have hope.
Jai
Alexia, it's all very disturbing, isn't it?
Jai
Lydia, exactly. And we're also too much of a culture that doesn't consider the consequences of our actions. It used to be that before any society did anything they considered what effect it would have on their children and grandchildren and the next ten generations. These days no one thinks beyond today.
Jai
Lynda, yes! It's getting worse and worse. We have to come to our senses.
Jai
You'd think by now people know that drugs, alcohol and cigarettes kill... but there's still plenty of smokers, and heavy drinkers and junkies. Sigh.
I had a nervous breakdown and the doctor gave me Xanax. I bought the box, stared at it, and never opened it. I got out of it on my own. My mum asked if she should follow the same cure, hearing I was better - I had to tell her "Mum, I DIDN'T take those pills!"...
I don't believe in magic pills. But I believe in my own self-healing capacity. Pity everybody else is so keen on giving their money to pharmacies, hoping for a miracle...
Barb
Barb, I agree that we have to have the courage to find other ways to deal with our problems. People take drugs because they think it's the easy way out, but in fact it's just another way to embroil ourselves even deeper.
Jai
i think it's part of the 'plot' of the 'new world order' to dehumanize everyone, make them pliable to the 'elite', by conditioning everyone thru mass [hysteria] media and drug consumption hidden in all our foods under the pretext of promoting health [how can all those biological drugs/gmos, be beneficial to the masses?]
mind control: 1984 X 100!
begun more than 60 years ago, now so pervasive, few know it's going on....
Laughingwolf, that's a VERY good point.
Jai
I am Irish, and you know, Jai, the image that springs to mind when the Irish are thought of.
An image honestly, if tragically, earned. Changing now, something to be thankful for. But it takes time. And effort by society as a whole, and by people as individuals making up that society.
We humans seem to un-learn more slowly than we learn.
But we can do it - which gives me hope.
Kevin, that's just what Yoda said: "You must UNLEARN what you have learned."
Truer words were never said.
Jai
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