Two worlds

So I'm five days into being a citizen. I have to admit it's been an odd few days. Every time some one calls me an American I do a double take. I had a writer's meeting last night and since they'd heard the news they haled me as a new citizen as I walked in. One of them gave me a pop quiz on American civics. It was funny and weird.

I'm entering a new phase in writing the novel. I've written some sections over the last couple of days that were short and emotional. Makes sense, the last part of a novel leads to a climax. Shorter scenes reflect higher tension and emotional stress. Shorter sentences have the same effect. Also, throughout the novel a writer builds his characters so that the reader understands them and their motivations. By the last part, the reader knows the characters well so there's no need to explain their actions, only to tell the story.

My characters are chewing themselves up and bleeding all over the place - I won't tell you whether they're bleeding physically, emotionally, or spiritually, or all of those. Just know that the chaos is being unleashed.

It's a strange experience to write something stressful when I'm feeling relaxed. I have to put myself at odds with my own mood. Usually I'm good at that, switching on the writer mode and switching off the normal person. Then when I'm done writing, I switch off the writer mode and switch on the normal person. It's a knack that I honed while studying drama at school, that of being able to slip into character while on stage and out of character while off. While acting or writing, I'm in storyteller mode and telling the story takes precedent over my normal life.

However, it's something a lot of writers struggle with. They get confused between their writing and their life. Or perhaps their life spills into their writing and they can't separate the two. Or perhaps they don't want to separate them. It's complicated. A lot of writers are accused of being crazy or depressed or some kind of mentally unstable because of this. A lot of writers are known to be drug addicts or alcoholics or some other type of addict. There's been a debate forever on whether it's an artist's natural disposition or if the art affects the person's mental health. So it's a dangerous job. Poets have the worst part of the reputation, being known to commit suicide. Yikes. It's even a cliche.

I try to be mindful of the issue. I don't want to end up a cliche but I really don't want to end up mentally unstable. When I'm going through a tense time in my writing, I take the time afterwards to relax, distance myself, find something else to put in my mind. Like swim, or go for a walk, or spend time with friends. I go to the temple or take a bath or do yoga. It's not always easy to pull away, especially when I get obsessed with my characters and want to live in their world 24/7. But it's necessary. For myself, for my health and my art. I have to understand that there are two worlds in my head and I have to have room for both of them.